How Do You Answer When Your Loved One Asks Your Opinion On Their Memory?
Mom has recently been more aware of her memory lapses, and keeps asking how bad I think her memory is. It is getting much worse, but I am trying to answer with kindness. She repeatedly texts me the same questions and is now texting me as reminders for her to remember things. Almost every morning I get her reminder to herself to not got to the dining room before 8am. Otherwise she gets agitated with the staff for not having coffee or breakfast ready. She also texts her BP stats and things she… read more
I guess I would try to stress the things she may be doing to help herself. How well she is keeping you informed and how you appriciate it. That you are helping each other.
I always told my husband-there is a problem with your brain and it’s not your fault.
I only reminded my husband of his diagnosis a couple times, very early in the journey. But I realized that he got more upset that I thought he had a problem than whatever he may have forgotten or confused that prompted his question. So any other time I learned to play it down and just make a comment that his memory wasn’t as good as it used to be. I stopped using the words Alzheimer’s and especially dementia when talking to him because he felt they meant “crazy” and he would get very upset.
My husband has no awareness or insight into is memory loss or cognitive changes. Sometimes I think that's a blessing for him but I think you have an opportunity to still support your Mom even if you are gently kind about your opinion. I guess I would ask her what worries her and how can you help. Sending support. Take care.
Because my hubby is still at the early stages (praise God), I simply say "Everyone has problems with their memory" because when I would tell the truth, at the beginning, he would get very agitated and angry. Right or wrong, that's how I handle it and it's been going well for me.
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