"But that's not the way it's supposed to be!" is a common thing we say when our expectations fall short. It happens to all of us. Some members of myALZteam have found the practice of "allowing and letting be" in the midst of a trying to be a way to minimize anxiety or heaviness.

Mindfulness experts suggest a few ways that we can notice -- not push away -- how we feel during difficult moments. There are physical responses we can notice (heaviness in the shoulders, tightness in the chest), and we should also take note of our emotional responses to disappointment (blame, self-doubt, exasperation). These can be opportunities to realign our expectations and extend grace to ourselves.

Here are recent conversations from myALZteam:

• "I think you are a strong woman just by the fact that you are writing about your hurt. We need you to show us how to speak up and let the world know about the toll it takes on caregivers!"
• "Hi! Sometimes life just sucks. But then you move on because you love this person and they have been your anchor for so many years. Sometimes I need to pull back to reflect and pray. Then you have to smile and keep going. Stay strong. Have hope."
• "You sound like the kind of friend 'people who love someone with Alzheimer's' should have. I like your positive attitude. We have kind of hit our stride dealing with mom if that's even possible. That is to say, things are stable for the moment, but as we know, Alzheimer's has a way of jumping out of nowhere like a half-wild cat and attacking your feet when you are shuffling through a dark room."

Share how you respond when things fall short of your expectations in the comments below or directly on myALZteam.com.