Excellent article. It should be required reading for so many caregivers. My behavior as well as emotions before and after my wife's passing took different forms. Before her passing, the term ambiguous loss might well include great disorder, frustration, and even anger. It is difficult to properly manage an impossible situation. Following her passing, my emotions ranged from denial to the actual study of death itself. This is a rather long story, but the concluding part was to consider the joy of living with your loved one over time rather than dwelling on personal loss. To me, this is proving to be a useful technique in an attempt to minimize one's grief.

Gigi42 I know this is so so hard. But my advice is to take the palliative care immediately. Medicare pays for it. My mom was on palliative care for six months and then they moved her to hospice. She stayed on hospice for four years until she passed. it has benefits as far as covering supplies and weekly visits from a nurse and CNA‘s to help with bathing, etc. I’m so very sorry. Sending so much love and hugs everything you said is spot on though I know in my case it was my parent versus a spouse. This disease is just terrible. On so many levels! But please I tell everyone? Do not be afraid of palliative care or hospice care. They really are your friend. Xoxoxoxoxoxo

I love all the advice given here. We didn’t have hospice until the very last part of my husband’s life. I would have appreciated someone who had wide experience in dealing w/Alzheimer’s!
I just did what I could do to make sure my husband was comfortable and entertained in good ways but as it got worse (we lived w/the disease for 9 yrs)it was difficult to be creative! This is where a professional with good ideas would have helped. I regret not being more creative in what I did to keep my loved one entertained but it is very difficult seeing the loss of power that he suffered. He was an artist in all he did; very stable, with a great imagination. He inspired us all. As a family there were only 3 of us.
After 2-1/2 yrs I am finally having a life of my own again, but I will always miss him!

Dear Janelwessely, My heart feels so strongly all that you share of your experience witnessing the loss of your husband inch by inch each day. My path with John is almost identical...grief is the background and often forefront of everyday. Although I do look for moments of connection and happiness everyday. Sending support and hugs. We can do this with each others help. Often said but we are truly not alone. Take care.

Very well said with wisdom of someone who walked the path.
We appreciate your insights!