I carry these same questions around with me daily. A director of one of the facilities I'm interviewing "for that day if it comes" told me when I asked how will I know it's time, answered "...you won't be able to personally function anymore and you'll know it's the right decision." I get your worry and concern. And as cruel as it is, our past lives and abilities have no bearing on our current situation. It's over, done and irrelevant. Dementia moves forward in its ugly way.

When my safety became an issue, I had no choice. The police got involved and he had to move to a memory care center. So upsetting but the decision was made as there was no other choice.

He pulled an item from my hands yesterday, Apparently, that was his signal that he was done and could not verbalize it. He has never acted like that in 40 years. So, I am on high alert today.

It is never easy, but one can survive it. My wife was a high school a Spanish teacher for 22 years. In 2001 she got her Masters in Spanish, and in 2006 Alzheimer's. It was 14 years before she passed and I caregiver until her last 6 weeks. I knew it was time for her to be placed because I could no longer give her all that she needed. It was during Covid and hard.