One idea: Perhaps you could get an evaluation for Hospice care. If she qualifies, you would then have help with her ongoing care and you would not be the one paying for the help.

@A myALZteam Member,
Well, I have used rolled up towels for other reasons with her before. Maybe I can try it for changes too. When I try to prop her with anything to keep her off her spine a bit, she wants it out, says it is uncomfortable. Should be okay long enough to change her though.

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A myALZte...

@A myALZteam Member: Since you seem determined to continue doing the diaper changing entirely by yourself, perhaps you should keep some rolled-up towels handy, so when you roll her from one side to the other, you can prop her up with those (similar to using a wedge, which you said you don't have). A couple of bath towels rolled up together should do the trick. And a towel roll would also let her be on her side occasionally, to prevent bedsores.

Also, you wrote "if anything happens to her, I am in trouble because I have no income and unable to go to a job anymore." I don't know what state you are in, but have you contacted your Department of Social Services to see about getting Disability benefits? They have Social Workers who can help you. Perhaps Fr. Nicholas can help you to get this done.

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A myALZte...

My Mom doesn't have the income for a memory care facility. Even if she went to a nice in house hospice only facility, there is no way to know whether or not she would be sent back home due to the time limit being reached. I can't stand the thought of being separated from her now, especially if she is nearing her end. Then there is the fact that if anything happens to her, I am in trouble because I have no income and unable to go to a job anymore. I just am not able to face losing her anyway...she and I did everything together for so long because I am not married ans have no children. If she died, and I was not beside her when it happened, I would be more devastated 💔. Here at home, I know I can immediately phone Fr. Nicholas and he will come with the viaticum and apostolic pardon. Her vehicle is the vehicle which is 24+ years old and sometimes it is in the shop, then I am stuck and wouldn't be able to get to her in a hurry. Hopefully she will live for many years to come, but she doesn't seem to think she will take much more suffering as she grows weaker by the day and perhaps would prefer to die sooner.
This is all soo sad. She was up doing things this past summer. The Prevnar injection began a long series of tumbling health which has finally knocked mamma down for what might be permanent bed entrapment and what comes next. I am grateful for my time with her, but don't want her to die any sooner than we can help. God is a God of life Who has chosen life for us all. I believe I should guard her life.
Anytime she has gone to hospital in the last several years, I camp in her room with her.
Anyway, she cannot eat or drink the standard American diet, so there would be very little for her special nutritional needs at an inpatient hospice facility even though we have one real nice one in town. She just has so many particulars to consider that she wouldn't get her other needs met in the same way anywhere but home...it's just the one man diaper changes and no one to help me with that. 😟.
Thanks be to God, my Mom is still alive.

This is one of the reasons why my husband is in a memory care facility. The staff does a much better job than I could and they control and adjust his medications for pain management. 🌹😊