@A myALZteam Member it is a process that evolves over time, and it takes LOTS of patience. As a fellow teacher, I know you understand.

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A myALZte...

@A myALZteam Member
My husband had vascular dementia, and he retained his cheerful personality until his last six weeks. He was diagnosed with afib at that time and went rapidly downhill. He died two months later. During those last weeks I saw anger over the smallest things…but I always reminded myself that it was dementia talking, not Bill. I did not try to reason with him, I simply explained things in a way that would make sense to him.

For example: One night at bedtime
Bill: You have spent all of our money, and we are broke!
Me: We have plenty of money in the bank. (I showed him the balance.)
Bill: That looks good.
Me: Here is our investment account.
Bill: Wow! That is a lot of money!
Me: Yes, that is OUR money. We worked hard to save that money.
Bill: 💤

Another night at bedtime:
Bill: I can’t go to bed. We have to find the boat (We never owned a boat.)
Me: It is dark outside.
Bill: We HAVE to go find the boat.
Me: What color is the boat?
Bill: Yellow
Me Is the boat big or small?
Bill: It is small.
Me: It is dark outside, we will look for it first thing in the morning.
Bill: 💤

When he got up one morning:
Bill: I need to go home.
Me: Where is home?
Bill: Jacksonville, FL.
Me: That is a 12 hour drive and I can’t drive that far. Do you remember that your parents both died some years back?
Bill: I didn’t know that. Okay.

I was a first grade teacher for years and learned from my students and from our three children that simple explanations are needed for young children. The same is true for a person with dementia.

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A myALZte...

CER, your examples of explanations are brilliant! And so helpful. I teach 5th graders, but the notion of relating an answer to a child makes so much sense. I used to feel very guilty about not being fully completely honest and detailed. I had to let that go in favor of my heart to his heart… saying only what he needed to bring peace in his confusion.

CER that's such great advice. I really need to work on the patience part!🙄

I really can't give you any advice. I myself would take it one day at a time.