All the answers are good. My hubby has been in the home for almost 4years now. I had no choice as to when to admit him. He could no longer walk after 12 years of slowly going down this road. I had him at home all those years. He was diagnosed in 2012. But I was not given the diagnoses until 2015, even though I knew he had it. I had had to take over all the day to day finances around 2012, as he could no longer do it. As well as most of the daily mantinance around the house. I had the VA to give me 30 days a year for respite care 6 hrs a day. Our kids helped some, but most was on me. Yes, it is ok not to go too often to see him. I go once a month when I can. The VA home is 2 hrs away from me. So I go when I can! Now, he knows he knows me, sometimes! Life is a journey so go at your own pace. No need to feel guilty as long as you have done your best!! Hugs

Absolutely not the first couple of months when my wife was admitted to say the least was extremely difficult. I cared for her at home for over 2 years along with everything else giving up that control was painful. I suffered with anxiety and guilt for a few months until I realized I needed help. I sought professional help and my clergy played a huge part in me coping with what I could no longer control. After a year and a half in memory care I have the same questions does she know me and does she I’m here? My counselor told me limit my visits to two days a week. My question’s still remain but I’m am now handling it much better. If you want to talk reach out to me we are not in this alone.

I cared for my husband for over 5 years. The hardest decision I had to make was to move him to a memory care facility. I visit 4 days a week but it is very hard not knowing what he’s doing when he’s alone. I had no choice to move him cause he could not walk anymore. He is also non verbal and doesn’t communicate.

You have to do what is best for you. If you can only go once a week, give yourself permission. I would visit with the other ones in hubbies unit. You could write a letter to your person if that helps. Don’t feel guilty for what you choose to do. While hubby was in ALZ unit, COVID came so I could not see him. That is when I wrote him once a week. That helped me. It was the hardest thing I have ever done putting him in a safe place. He wasn’t as bad as the other ones. He was in a unit with 15 people. I loved the other ones. It was the right thing to do. He knew me when I moved him.

I cared the best I could for my mom. She had lots of falls, and I was forever picking her up off the floor until I couldn't any more. Bad fall put her in the hospital, they said brain bleed, but another hospital said no, shadow from an old one, and asked when she had a stroke? We had thought about that a while back, but the memory tests weren't good. She enter the care facility (short term) and later changed to resident. Fell and broke her hip, surgery, back to care facility and the slow down slide started. Now there is garbled speech, memory, wheel chair, Dementia, and lost of anger and tears. She still knows me most of the time, but both hers and my drs. have said you need to space out your visits--not every day, and not all day. Yes I have guilt, her anger tells me how bad a daughter I am, do I know who she is...