I think if my wife was healthy and I was the patient, she would hang two bunches of garlic around my neck to keep the witch away.

Not long after my husband moved to memory care, I found a female resident in bed with him, when I went to see him just before breakfast, one morning. She was taking up most of his full size bed and he was hanging off the edge with a look on his face like “what the …”. Turns out, she’d spent nights in another male’s room, too, her sleeping in his twin bed, him having to sleep in his recliner. She was also overly amorous with the male residents during the daytime.

After meeting with her family, the facility solved the night time problem by moving her to a room on the other half of the complex, where the residents were further progressed in the disease, and where she wouldn’t be inclined to be attracted to any of them. She goes there at 8pm in the evening and is allowed back on the other side in the mornings.

Apparently, she’s also been prescribed some medication or has had some sort of therapy, too, because she is no longer overly amorous to the men. She’s friendly but very well behaved. In fact, I would say she has become my husband’s best friend. They spend a lot of time together, in the outside courtyard. She’s very patient about going along with the delusional state, he gets in often, where he’s at work, and considers her a team member on the project he’s managing.

I am so sorry. This disease is the worst for so many reasons. I can't imagine how much this hurts. As others have said, he does not know or understand. I know this doesn't make it hurt less. One more thing to grieve. After Ed went into memory care, I started seeing a therapist to help me deal with all of it. It has helped me. Ed has been gone now 4 months and I am still meeting with the therapist.
God bless you and give you strength.

I would just turn a blind eye. They’ve got sod all else in a place like that . Why not let them have a little bit of happiness and friendship . It’s not like he’s been unfaithful to you. He’s probably forgotten you. Dear lady hard to take I know. But you’re not there most of the time. It’s probably nice for him to have a friend Or two.

Oh Gilloo .. I know hubby's pseudo friendship with another patient is upsetting but this is not uncommon with dementia residents. Someone else posted about same issue recently and I suggested watching an excellent 2001 Canadian movie called .. Away From Her... I think you may be right about a security blanket and perhaps you can discuss this situation with the staff in charge of the unit.....it may be that memories of your long loving marriage have attracted him to just chatting with another woman emotionally....hugs from a retired mental health RN