I had the same issue with my Mom, I cut back on her Coca Cola/soda drinking ( as caffeine increases urine output )and I also insert bladder pads into her depends… it seems to be helping ! I agree the incontinence and for me the fight to get her changed is one of the hardest parts!

First of all, the promises that we make at the beginning of this disease, not really knowing what will happen with our loved one can be reconsidered. I didn't want to put my husband in a home either but my health depended on it and I was loosing staff at home because he was big and strong and could get angry. Bathroom issues were tough mainly because he forgot how to wipe himself and struggled to let a woman he did know (me) do it for him. It really got tough when he refused to take a shower. I am betting your husband loved you enough that he would not want your health to suffer because of his illness.

Why not try to get a health aide to clean an dress him morning an nite

I hear you. My husband is so sweet and loving and I really don’t mind taking care of him. I do everything..shower, shave, dress. But the bathroom is beginning to be a real problem. I’m so tired of cleaning up messes. But I love him so much and I don’t want to put him in a facility ever😫💔 . But I’m beginning to realize that may not be possible.💔

I am going through the same with my mom. She’s starting to sleep deeply at time and wets through her depends. Lately she has been nasty and arguing with my husband and me. Up all hours of the day and night. It’s exhausting to say the least.
Prayers and hugs to you.