I had same problem with my both dementia suffering parents. I learned if I pick the time when they were in a good mood they agreed. Usual shower time, early morning or before bed, was never worked. Brushing teeth for mom was challenge. I gave up taking her to the bathroom sink. Now I bring a brush, spitting pan, a cup of water and a towel to her while she watches TV and brushes for her. I am happy she lets me do that at least.

My mother when asked if she'd like a shower would say she already had one or... Oh no it's alright I don't need one. What we found worked was I would just. Say oh mom come with me I'm going to give you a shower. She never refused. As well, sweet smelling body washes, soft scrub bites, bubbles were a big plus.
We had the same problem when she went into care. The psw's would ask her if she wanted a shower and she would say on no it's okay. I would be told she refused when asked. I suggested they reword their request and say Edna lets get you in the shower. They never had her turn down the request.
Teeth brushing as well needs to be inviting like a pretty toothbrush. You may even need to buy a child's toothbrush and toothpaste to make it look interesting.
Best of luck to you.

Hi There. They say that ALZ patients do not like the water sprayed on them...so direct the shower away, so they can get in the tub. Also that many have problems seeing the water so think the tub is a hole. This might be helped by colored water or a colored mat in bottom of tub or even bright towel on the tub chair. You may also have to brush your teeth with her , as she cannot remember the steps. Many carers complain about patient refusing to change clothes, so yo may need to take away the dirty clothes and put out clean things on the bathroom counter. All the best in solving this problem with your journey. HUgs goin gout to you. -Sharon

H gets in shower by himself but I don;t think he washes. Just rinses his body. right now he does not smell but seems always an issue. I still tell him---I willnot take a smelly husband out for lunch. that usually works for now. Dr says he should bathe every 3 days and to leave him aone.

Yes the coloured water is a good idea. I bought a shower head with LED coloured lights which continuously change colour as the water passes through. No batteries needed works like magic. You can buy them on EBay for a few pounds.