I would also like to comment on DebraHobbs reply. I am going to try to be delicate so please take this advice as it is out of love for all Caregivers who have loved-ones in facilities.

IF I had the room in my home and IF I had the money and IF I was prepared to lose sleep every night while mom wanders and IF I was not already burned-out after the 4 years of constant care I gave to my mom - I may consider your advice.

Putting your loved-one in a care facility is very difficult to do and then having to move them again is almost impossible. Those of us who have already gone through it, do not need someone who has NOT gone through it to tell us to keep them home. If it were at all possible, most of us would gladly keep our loved-ones out of Care Facilities. There is already enough guilt, pain, grief and remorse...I certainly do not need someone else to make me feel that I am not a good caregiver because my mom is in a facility.

Going forward, please keep in mind that your comments may be read by caregivers who are exhausted, worried, in grief and/or confused. Love, understanding, experience and well wishes is what we are looking for in these pages.

Sincerely, Peggy

My mom was in a nursing home that I was very unhappy with. It looked pretty and shiny but the patient care was horrible. Due to the Heimlich maneuver being done on her when she choked on a piece of chicken her sternum was broken and she was taken to the hospital where they discovered she also had broken ribs, double pneumonia, and a raging UTI. At this point in time we were able to move her--even though we had been reticent to do so as we thought it would upset her and cause too much confusion. The new facility is much smaller and not as pretty and shiny but it is clean and the patient care is far superior. We moved all of her stuff to her new room and made it look as much like home as possible for mom. She has not had any difficulty at all with the transition and we have been pleasantly surprised. I wish we had made this move earlier.

The same thing happens to. Jim father. They didn't take care of him. They gave him to much sleeping. Med. and stop feeding nh by the mouth. Stay giving him food in drip jugs. Never seen nothing like that before. I told them he need water. But they would. Not listen. They said they take order from his second wife. Our hand was tie. Now jim Have Alz. I going to hire. Care provider to come to our. Home and pay them with jim. SSI. And my pension. I rather do that. Then have him in one of those. Places. Jim already have the largest bed room in the house. I paid 20. A hour. And I will hire. Two worker. Of o need to. Right now my sons. Help me with. Him.

If being able to spend more time with her because it is closer for you I'd move her. We had to put my mother in law in a assisted living, not do to Alzheimer's and even though she wasn't happy in either place, but she was very happy that we could come and visit her every day.
I'd pop in at all times of the day, and the staff never knew when we'd be coming in, so they pretty much stayed on top of her needs.
If we weren't happy with anything, we let them know and we'd also let them know that they were appreciated and that they were doing a good job taking care of her.

Hi Peggy. Did you read the part where. I would hire people. To. Come in my home to work shifts. I not down playing. Anyone. Sorryyou felt that way. Peggy. It just that people. We're unhappy. With the care that their love once was receive. I been doing this for along time for my boy. Friend. It been around 7. Years. Now. I was just giving advice. Not telling people what to do Peggy. It's your mom 🤗❤️not wanting anyone to feel guilty. My jim have 2 sisters. 2. Brothers and a bunch of other. Family members and my family and. I. Enjoy taking care of him. Peggy. I wish you the best. And yes. You are. Right. Don't live your sisuation I only live mines big. Hug. To you. And stay. Strong