Hi @A myALZteam Member, the first thing to say, if I may say it ever so gently, is that it isn’t wise to make a promise to yourself that you may not be able to keep. None of us knows the way this illness will progress and sometimes, a nursing facility is the best care we can give to the one we love. We all know about the horror stories of nursing homes but by far the majority are good places that provide care way beyond what we can do at home. And sometimes they need that care. Its certainly a good aim to ty to keep someone at home. I told my wife very early in the period she was diagnosed I woud keep her at home as long as I was able to care for her and her needs were being met. That’s a promise all of us can keep. The statistics are that only about half of all people with a dementia illness eventually go into facilities. The second thing to say, again, very gently, is that it makes it very hard on others who need to place their loved one into a facility. It perpetuates a view that placing a loved one is giving up on them or abandoning them. Again, nothing could be farther from the truth. We always retain care of our loved one even when they are in a facility. We are their voice and protector as such.
So, to answer your particular question, unfortunately, I don’t know the system in Florida or what services are available but you can keep someone at home by enlisting the support YOU need and the support your Mom needs. That might be home help, cleaning, gardeneing etc or also medical help for your mom such as anurse who comes and attend s to showering, medication etc. In Australia, the government is moving to keep as many people out of facilities as possible, mainly because its cheaper. They will provide funding up to around $40,000 per annum that a carer can spend on the home assistance they need (the money doesn’t go to the carer, it goes to a provider who the carer engages. So, the carer spends the money the way they see fit but the facility, engaged or appointed by the carer, manages and controls the money). Its a reasonably good system. The government here calls the ‘Home Care Packages’.
So, what I am saying in a rather long winded way is, promise your mom you will always get her the best care you can and secondly, look after yourself so you can look after your mom. Investigate what funding is available, what services you and she needs and then go and get all the ‘ducks lined up’ and manage your mom’s care. Its sounds simple but it is hard to do, I know.
I hope my answer is helpful for you.

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A myALZte...

Thank you. I'm doing ok now. I do have help sometimes and she is plugged in with people during the daytime during the weekdays so I can go to Dr appointments , do grocery shopping etc.
But I did just have an incident of a very bad aide trying to force feed, not sit on the couch or engage with her and steal a credit card I had in my mail. That's why I have cameras.
That really shook me up. I have had lazy aides but not bad ones.
And unfortunately the hospital here are not that great, that's why I stay with her all the time.She needs an advocate or they would never do their jobs. But I need to find time to start my outside life again, little by little again. Yes. I agree.
You know it's those accents you guys have that would have me moving to Australia. Lol. ;-)

Hi @Classyeyes, I didn’t think for a moment that’s what you intended. It was just an observation on my part that sometimes, we communicate information without realising. My main concern was really about you and the possibility that you could back yourself into a corner you don’t want to be. Always leave the possibility that your mom might need different or more i tensive care than you can give. Moving to Australia is certainly the way to go. Its paradise here but check out the details about caregiving with the embassy before you pack your bags! Truth is, we have our horror stories as well. But the whole industry is improving year by year as better training is implemented and we start to understand difficult behaviour better.

I was in my mid 50s taking care of my mom inher 80s, My husband and I did it for 3 years, and then she passed away at home, where she was happieast.

Yep that's the accent. Lol. And thank you on the invitation. I would love to travel there someday.